Sometimes Dreams Stay Dreams
When we moved on to larger property it was a long time dream come true. Having wasted, I mean trained, many hours on Farmville finally we could make real those trees, animals and lifestyle. Reality is that dreams can end up far from reality especially when it’s been too long in dreaming.
Despite our best efforts it’s just not meant to be. Our teenagers were too old when we made the move, they miss suburbia, fast internet, fresh running water and easy access to their friends. Waking up to help feed animals was a great effort until final school years, late night study and exams followed by university hours. They tried and I’m really proud they did.
Slowly chore after chore fell on my shoulders which would have been fine except for the little kids. The little kids have special needs that include oppositional behaviours and short term memories. Despite my best hopes for them I can’t see them being responsible or safe helping to care for the animals unless I was standing there giving step by step instruction each and every day and who has the time for that!
So, I was once again left to make an executive decision. With a heavy heart and many tears I re-homed our beautiful mini pony and goat. That means we are reduced to dogs and cats. Sounds cliche!
I have to admit it’s my dream gone bust and I’m sad it has but I can’t force my dream onto my children. I admit feeling a tad angry that I can’t have my dream but I made choices that I wouldn’t change and that is to foster children. True that if they were not special needs it may have worked but maybe not.
Anyway I’m seriously waffling. The point is it’s over. The positive is that they have gone to a fantastic home and we are now friends on Facebook so I can keep up with their progress. Friends with their new owners obviously, although I’m sure if Millie and Freya could break in and use Facebook I’m sure they would.
I’ll miss them but I need to refocus and basically ‘suck’ it up, wipe away any tears and get on with life. Mums don’t have the time to mope around we are too busy keeping everyone else happy.
Maybe one day, if I’m not too old or squeaky in the joints I’ll have my dream, or maybe I’ll have a new dream that will become a reality. We are not moving, we can’t afford to and besides the space is awesome and beautiful. We are not that far from town and the teenagers are now getting their own driving licences. We wouldn’t fit into a suburban house either. No, it’s just the season of playing Farmville in real life is now over. I guess eventually we all must grow up!
Who knows what the future holds, I try to live day by day and make the most of what I have now, seeking new adventures sometimes ends with muddy knees. The best part is getting back up, admitting failure, having great memories and moving on.
Do I regret the past few years? No! I could get down and depressed instead we have funny stories, lots of pictures and the knowledge that we gave it a go.
Have you tried to live a dream that didn’t line up with your real life?