I finally unlocked the ankle chains and escaped the house with TJTeen. Leaving PB in charge (I’d fed, showered and bedded all 5 littlies down!) I felt relaxed and excited to be heading off to experience ‘Les Miserable’ – FILM version.
I purchased my hot, black, coffee and barely able to carry it due to the ‘not’ heat proof cup I waited while TJTeen purchased her popcorn. I was already quivering. My biggest hate about movie watching is having to tolerate the noise of people eating. Where did this habit originate from? Is it perhaps a contributor to our obese society? OK Popcorn is a healthier option but it’s become a feast for some!
With a deep sigh of resignation and determination to be tolerant we headed into the assigned cinema. I’d heard so much about this movie I was surprised to find it had been allocated the smaller of the rooms. I was also annoyed to see there was a huge dirty, great smudge mark on the screen.
Very noticeable and I’m left wondering how hard is it to clean the screen? Cinema tickets are not cheap, why are we accepting deteriorating quality?
We sat down, then moved. Someone from behind at some previous session time had found it funny to force the back of the seats forward so that sitting in them felt like a steel rod had been welded to your back.
Finally settled I was then forced to sit through I’m sure, more adverts than ever (OK sure ,I’m just whining now). Finally the movie began and then to my horror along comes a person shuffles down my row and sits one seat away, wait that’s not the issue because I’m a friendly person right! Having sat in the upright broken chair she squirms and wriggles, tries to fix the seat and finally slides down to get comfortable, note; this room is fairly empty there are LOTS of spare seats. Then she pulls out a bag of edibles here’s where I’m now fighting the urge to huff loudly, stand up and walk out and I’m realising that I’m feeling old, intolerant and remembering why I do NOT like going to the cinema.
Most people try to hush the sound of opening food packets in the cinema but not this woman, given her age I’m going to assume her Mummy never, ever taught her to hush, or to consider others. Yep modern day parenting! She tore open the packet (which was a crinkly noisy one), threw her hand excitedly into it and ‘Les Miserable’ commenced with a loud “CRUNCH”. She didn’t suck them she munched loud and fast with full back teeth crunch action, thrusting her hand into that noisy, rustling bag again and again and again.
The noise was loud enough to distract me from enjoying the movie, for crying out loud there was a whole empty chair between us! I tried throwing her a few heavy sighs but I guess her own crunching noise was too loud to hear. I tried throwing her some death stares but hey it was dark! When the movie had some tense moments she double dipped and crunched with more energy than ever.
Sadly because of this small, insignificant situation I did not fully enjoy Les Miserable. I’m not surprised three couples stood up and left.
Even though I’m sure it had nothing to do with the cruncher next to me!
I’m a fairly tolerant person, I have 8 kids! I’m used to noise and mess and being tolerant. I also L.O.V.E M&Ms.
Is it really too much to enjoy a full movie experience with the full beauty of quality sound without the crunch?
* Someone, somewhere needs to revolutionise the sales of edibles at cinema’s, starting with quiet packets.
* Another way is to create the ability for wireless sound so that patrons can take in their own quality headsets/earphones and enjoy the full experience. If safety is a worry then emergency alarms can be passed through the cinema sound!
* Keep the screen clean! It’s a business providing a service, the least standard expected is a clean screen.
So that’s my rant to end 2012. I will be sourcing a better venue and hopefully better ways to ‘experience’ my next cinema outing. Maybe I’m getting old or maybe I’m just starting to appreciate sound and quality of movies rather than just watch anything to fill the time.
Popcorn I can handle (it still annoys me though), drinking is fine but slurping should be outlawed. Oh and checking your phone several times just in case your BFF has face booked you pppffftttt GET A LIFE! At least for the duration of the movie.
Here’s the hypocritical part, are you ready? I too would love to munch and crunch on yummy, crunchy, chocolate treats while watching amazing movies on an amazing screen but because I know I’m not alone in my discomfort I don’t do it to others.
RANT OFFICIALLY OVER as for ‘Les Mis’, I’m left wishing I could just flip over to London and see the stage version. Awesome movie!
Stop Laughing and DO NOT set me up by crunching in my ear next time you see me, I may accidentally do a Bruce Lee Move.