I’ve taken a few deep breaths, come to McDonalds where I can feel
try to feel impartial to this story
calm, cool and collected. Not going to happen! Why? Because it involves my son, my first born. You know, that one who writes awesome love songs and that heart stopping memorial song to his little bro who left us as at just five years old. HEAR MY WORDS
The one who’s heart has been genuinely bled dry, stomped on, wrung dry and left to flutter ever so lightly while we defibrillate it.
His story seemed to be the rare, true love story. Two people who had ‘liked’ each other since primary school, drawn together despite attempts to side track them. Two people who had walked side by side for the past three years, talking, dreaming and planning marital bliss, white picket fence, children and happiness ever after. Now GONE… with a mere few sentences.
“It’s not you, it’s me. I need to explore, have some fun.
We can still be best friends though!”
No sorry you can’t you don’t destroy a person and still claim friendship.
I totally support her breaking up to ‘find herself’ if that’s what she must do. I don’t support HOW it was done and the shattered pieces that were left for me to pickup.
He changed his dreams, lifelong goals. Cancelled a much dreamed about gap year in the Army because she said she would miss him too much! Cancelled considering the Police Force as a career because ‘She Said’! He saved every cent for that very responsible deposit for their first home.
She turned 18 recently and all seemed perfect, she was only too happy to accept the birthday gift from him, not a hint did she let slip of what she was planning instead assuring him of her deep love for him.
At this time she had to have known what she was about to do!
Just shortly after her birthday he turned 18, with a broken heart as a birthday present.
Friday night prior she called him “I need to speak to you, please come over in the morning”. He knew, he sensed the tone of voice, we knew. He sought solace in his precious music and piano, hoping he was wrong.
Saturday came his shoulders sunk, his face creased with concern he was desperately trying to hide, he left the house for hers.
I was driving on the freeway when my phone rang, I pulled over because it was him, he never calls me, something was wrong! Simple, she had dumped him, from the comfort of her home, with the support of her family then left him to get in his car and drive away. Alone, stunned, shocked and in incredible deep painful agony.
This was not a teen crush, this was real. Where had it all gone wrong? Yes they were young, too young. We knew that but it was for us as parents to advise and to support along the way.
As a Mum, my heart too has been broken because that’s what happens when our child’s heart is broken, ours breaks too. We are connected in a way that no one can ever, ever change.
I used to say I couldn’t wish for better in a daughter-in-law, this act though showed true character that is not on my wish list for my son!
He will always remember the pain of his 18th Birthday. Celebrations were cancelled instead replaced by fishing trips with Dad, soul searching, long drives and of course music.
He will recover because he’s awesome and we are there for him. He will never forget, he will never get back the years he gave to her or the lost opportunities in her name. He will never forget the broken trust, the betrayal. The talk one week before of bridesmaids and dreams without a hint of a dark cloud.
The silver lining is that he can start to have some fun, deserved fun. Spend a little of that hard saved money. Have a laugh with his friends, do what he wants when he wants. He can dream again, his dreams not hers but best of all he has already written a song to express his pain and well…. it’s a tear jerker. He has plans for 2013 that IF he gets past first base will see you all enjoy his music
There is a nice way to end a relationship, especially one that has no nasty issues attached. A right moment, a kind moment.
If you are going to break someone’s heart don’t use a sledgehammer.